An easy guide about ring bearer duties during the ceremony and what other things should be considered when planning on having one on your wedding day.
Ring bearers are one of the littlest/youngest wedding attendants in a wedding, together with the flower girl. They walk down the aisle after the groomsmen and bridesmaids, just before the flower girls. Their main job is to carry the rings down the aisle to the couple. These young attendants put an aww-inducing part in a ceremony and
The choice of having a ring bearer depends on your religious customs or personal preference. Nowadays, it is most commonly seen in weddings that they decide to follow the tradition of having one but in the end, it still depends on the couple.
Who to pick?
As a couple, selecting on who you want to be your ring bearer can be a tough one especially if you have a lot of friends and relatives with young boys. You can either pick:
- Your son if you have one already
- A nephew
- A cousin
- A close friend’s son
It is better to pick a young boy who’s already close or has a special connection to the bride and groom. Most ring bearers are betwee the ages 4 to 8 years old. Picking younger ones tend to be more prone to meltdowns and older boys get a bit embarrassed. Choose someone who is within the age range and is responsible enough who will take his role seriously. A child’s personality should also be considered when selecting and whether or not his parents will be easy to coordinate especially with the attire, rehearsals, etc.
If there is a point that you are having trouble choosing between two children, you can have two ring bearers. Give them each a ring to carry and send them down the aisle together.
When and how to ask?
- Asking permission should be done prior to printing the invitations to prevent any errors. Asking ahead is appropriate to give ample time to the parents of the chosen ring bearer for deciding if they approve or not.
- Ask the parents first if they want the child to be part of the entourage then ask the child after if he also wants to be part of it.
When a ring bearer is already selected, provide instructions regarding his duties ahead of time. This makes him aware of what his responsibilities will be at the ceremony. It is also better to include the child during rehearsals. It makes the child familiar with the entourage and helps avoid him feeling overwhelmed by everyone during the actual ceremony.
The parents typically pay for the attire of the ring bearer. If you wish to give them something to wear as a gift that is always an option.
The Carrying of the Rings
As flower girls carry flower baskets, ring bearers carry the ring in a carrier. Most weddings use a small cushion or pillow to hold the rings. A young boy carrying such small and precious jewelry can be a bit risky. Tantrums may arise and the least we want to happen is losing the rings. Here are some tips and tricks for
- Tie the rings using a ribbon that is sowed in the cushion or pillow to prevent them from dropping.
- Use a small box to put the rings instead of a pillow. This is easier for the child to carry.
- Hand the rings over just before the child begins to walk down the aisle.
- Fake rings are usually tied to the pillow while the best man holds the real ones. This avoids pressure on the child.
- His parents should be seated near the aisle. Usually at the front so that he can see them when he walks down the aisle. It is better for him to walk towards someone he already trusts.
- Ask a groomsman to be his “buddy” and make sure he uses the restroom before the ceremony.
- If the child is very young, you may want him to be escorted down the aisle by someone close to him. This prevents any tears or stage fright.
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What to wear?
The most important thing is make sure that they are comfortable with what they are wearing. You don’t want any meltdowns during the ceremony because of him being uncomfortable.
- “Mini-groomsman” attire: A tiny tuxedo for the ring bearer. Others find little boys in grown-up formalwear quite endearing and cute.
- Junior versions of the groomsmen’s attire or something that coordinates and is age-appropriate.
- Polo shirt and blazer with a bow tie or anything that could match the outfit color of the flower girls.
- Eton jacket with short pants for a classic look.
Breaking Tradition
- You may opt to not have a ring bearer and the best man can carry the rings in his pocket.
- You can also decide on having a female ring bearer.
- Choosing a family dog or other pets (which is both fun and meaningful for some couples). They should be well trained though to hold a basket in their mouth with the rings. They can also be fitted with a special pillow on a harness on their backs, or a pouch can be affixed to a collar containing the rings.
Conclusion
Choosing a young child can be difficult to fulfill ring bearer duties. But always remember that a ring bearer is still just a child and mistakes or mishaps may happen. Do not expect things to go as smoothly as you planned. If things do happen that are not within the plan, then the ceremony must still go on. Think of it as a memorable moment during your wedding day.
His Expertise Includes:
- 8 years working in the wedding industry
- Owner of USA DJ a wedding service provider URL: https://usadj.org
- Former groom with first-hand experience planning his own wedding
For the better part of the last decade, Jason has personally helped countless couples create successful wedding.
Since 2018 he has devoted much of his time to creating Smartest Brides with his wife Rachel. His mission is to help remove the stress and anxiety that normally comes with wedding planning by making the process simple.
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